The Best Player of All Time, the
Battle and the Brigade
Julie Chen
opens the 22nd second episodes with quotes from the New York Post (“[Dan
is] the best Big Brother Player of all time.”) and Entertainment Weekly (“[Dan’s]
Hail Mary was like watching Paul Newman in The Sting or George Clooney in Ocean’s
Eleven.”). Ok, so yeah, Dan is a terrific Big Brother player. He’s easily in
the top five all time, but best ever? The greatest to play in 14 seasons because
he cried and got easily influenced Frank to change his alliance? I don’t agree
at all what about Dr. Will, the Brigade or Janelle. I guess we will have to
wait to find out if Dan can dodge a second week of having the target on his
back after staging his own “Big Brother funeral.”
What I do
know is that Dan has weekend himself in this game going forward. He alienated
Ian and Shane, Danielle has to pretend not to be with him after what he did to
her, and I really have to believe that Frank doesn’t trust him and is only
stringing him along to keep a big target in the house. (But then again, has
Frank really proven he’s not just going to get double crossed every week?)
Besides that he is the only one still in the house that has won Big Brother
before and that is going to leave a big target on him. It’s only a matter of
time before Frank and Dan are eliminated and we get the final four of Shane,
Jenn, Joe and Ian. (How boring would that be? The answer is ridiculously
boring, and I would possibly stop writing these just to save myself the time.)
When we
actually get to the game we see clips of what happened after the veto ceremony
(Jenn used the Veto on Dan and Frank nominated Britney in his place). Britney,
Ian, and Shane are all sitting in the living room shocked. Danielle is with
Britney pretending not to know why that just happened while Dan celebrates by
himself in the arcade room and Frank and Jenn go to the HoH room to try and
relax while the rest of the house freaks out.
In a huff,
Ian goes to the HoH room to confront Frank. He asks Frank what happened and
Frank tells him that Britney is gone so that Ian would be alone in the house.
Ian gets upset and starts at Frank telling him that it’s all “Bullshit!” Frank tells
Ian that if he’s going to raise his voice he can get out of his HoH room. Ian
storms out gladly. 
Brit takes a
second from trying to calm down the little ball of dust know as Ian and goes to
see Dan. He tells her that it wasn’t personal and that she has to “talk to the
HoH” because “all I know is I’m safe.” Wow, weren’t you with Britney in an
alliance a day ago? Didn’t you tell her you two had a bond that no one else
would understand? And now you won’t even tell her that she is going home. That’s
cold. Britney leaves the arcade room in tears, “It is just a game but in the
end Dan it’s important to me how you treat people.” She went on to add “it’s
important to me as a jury member.” (She’s knows she’s going home Dan, be a man.)
She then goes up to the HoH where Frank, the carrot man, and Jenn “City” are
talking. She decides to try and compliment her way to safety? She tells Frank
while in tears, “You are very good at this game Frank.” She throws a last ditch
effort out to try and get Frank and Jenn on her side but it doesn’t seem to
work that much.
A little
later on Frank walks by the couches and Shane tries to let Frank know that he
knows it was a tough decision but he’s ok with it, when Ian starts at Frank
again. Ian starts in about how Frank had several days to make his decision to
re-nom Britney and he only had “30.6 seconds” to make his decision to put
Ashley and Frank up on the double eviction night. Frank doesn’t argue instead
takes a different approach and just points out to Ian that everyone in America is
seeing who he really is and that he isn’t an innocent bystander but a sneaky
partaker. When Ian runs out of things to say to defend himself he turns to the
other house guests and screams “If anybody in this house takes him to the end,
you’re a fool. You sit next to him in the final two, he wins 7-0. (Frank should
have pointed out that if he is in the final two then Ian would be in the jury
and in order for it to go 7-0 Ian would have to vote for Frank to win over
everyone else. That would have messed up Ian’s whole speech and given Frank an
out on the whole Frank automatically wins in final two stories.) As the
argument winds down Frank makes a joke and walks away only to have Ian be the
strong, morally good guy that he is and flash the bird to Franks back (big man
Ian, big man). 
After the
first commercial we see Britney’s strategy. It’s to bash Dan to the other
houseguests as much as possible. She criticizes him, she mocks him and she even
does fake imitations of him telling her that her Big Brother life is over.
Frank and Shane sit there awkwardly, Ian listens attentively and Danielle has a
towel over her head so Britney can’t see her eye rolling.
We get peak
of the insight behind the least interesting alliance this season when Joe and
Shane decide to talk strategy. All Joe has to offer to the conversation is continuous
ass kissing telling Shane “All I can do is follow your lead.”
Julie comes
back live and talks with the house guest. She asks Ian about the vibe in the house
(tense), asks Jenn how easy the decision to use the Veto on Dan was (tough),
she asks Dan how it feels to be safe (good) and finally she asks Shane why he
cried so much at “Dan’s funeral” (he blames the girls).
Before the
eviction ceremony we get a special taped segment with the guys for the Brigade
(the four man alliance that eliminated Britney in her first season). They are
all there Hayden, Lane, Enzo and Matt. Here are a few quick notes in from there
interview:
·
“We
did do Britney dirty.” – Enzo
·
Matt
dressed up as the “creepy Britney pageant picture” for Halloween.
·
“Two
words to describe [Brit], high maintenance.” – Hayden
·
“The
Quack Pack against the Brigade, it’s like the Mighty Ducks versus a tank.” –
Enzo
·
All
of the Brigade are “team Brit”.
Julie takes
a minute before the evictions to talk to Frank in the HoH room. She asks him
about aligning with Dan and making a final two deal. Frank says that he wants
to trust Dan especially after finding out it was Ian that was behind everything
and not Dan. She also asks him about his relationship with Ian going forward
and he plainly states that if Ian wins HoH then he will have to look at trying
to get back on his side.
J-Chen is
back for the eviction ceremony and tells the two nominated house guest they
have a chance for to address the house one last time. Danielle get’s up and
tells everyone how she will lose it and stab every one of them if she is
evicted. (She doesn’t actually say that, really she just says “I love y’all” a
couple times. But didn’t you believe she stabbed someone for a second. She’s
crazy.) Britney gets up and gives a couple shout outs to family and friends and
then takes the last couple seconds to bash Dan. She starts with a slight jab at
Dan’s Funeral saying “I don’t have the time or a big enough ego to stand here
and host my own funeral.” She continues with a few pleasantries to the house and
the finish with a quote for Dan that Jerry (BB10) used when he was backstabbed
by the one and only Dan, “You’ll always be Judas to me.”
The votes go
as planned with a four to one in favor of evicting Britney. She gets up hugs
Danielle, Shane and Ian (Ian slips her a pair of the sunglasses he’s been
giving to every players that gets evicted). When she gets outside all the fans
cheer like crazy and she takes some time high fiving and shaking hands with
fans.
Brit sits
down with Julie for the farewell interview and the first question is about Dan.
Britney answers rationally saying she understands what he did and how it aided
his game but that she is not happy about it. Then Julie asks if Dan is pure
genius or pure evil? Britney’s instant answer is “Both!” She goes on to talk
about her alliance with Ian and the fact she had to cover for him a big reason
why she was targeted. As always they end with some house guests sending Britney
farewell messages. The best one this week is Ian saying “I will get that hairy
orange beast!” 
The episode
ends with an endurance HoH competition. The house guests will have to hang on
to a rope while standing on small wooden disks and being spun around a giant
fake sun. Not only that but the fake sun will spray them with what looks like
tanning lotion and a giant penis shaped meteorite will come out every so often
and hit them when they pass. The person that stays on the longest will win HoH
and the first person to fall will earn a surprise punishment. 
Before the
show closed we saw Joe sitting on the sidelines (he fell off during a
commercial) and as the credits role Jenn gets hit by the meteor penis and falls
leaving four players still playing for the HoH.
With Frank
not eligible to play the next two HoH’s, he’s main ally out withtin the first
ten minutes of the HoH competition and his new arch nemesis still in contention
for the head of household if does not look so good for Frank. We will just have
to wait to see what happens with the HoH and nominations on Sunday. Not only
that but next Thursday’s live show will be another double eviction night which
means major moves are going to be made in the upcoming week.
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